The sun had completely set over the hills towards the Eternal Court by the time Carolena and Ma said goodbye to the Thayers and Morsks. Lamps hung outside of the north marketplace, casting a glow over the cobblestones as they left the baker's house. Their footsteps bounced off of the houses of Ames Port, along with the rustling bags filled with a few loaves of bread Mr. Thayer had tirelessly made that morning.
Ma had been oddly quiet for the rest of the way back to the cottage, leading the way back up the trail and to the weathered cottage. Cold, salty air wafted over the cliff, blustering over Carolena's face as she waited for her mother to open the door.
"I forgot to ask," the door squeaked on its hinges as Ma turned to look at her. "Were there any guards in town this morning?"
Carolena's chest grew tight. It was a question she had been expecting. "No, I didn't see any this morning."
Her mother nodded and dipped into the cottage. In the stillness of the night, Carolena's feet refused to follow Ma inside. It wasn't a lie; there were no guards in Ames Port that morning, but the fact that Carolena even used her magic while she was in town that morning ate away at her head.
Day after day, her magic was just another reminder of her father and that the world would never hesitate to cull something—or someone—who had been born differently. Carolena's head tilted upwards toward the stars that swirled around the night sky. Somewhere in the Otherworld, her father watched over them on his throne in the sky. At least, that's what the stories Ma used to tell her said. Each star was supposed to represent a new soul that the gods welcomed into their clouded castle, each soul that death guided to their paradise.
Taking a deep breath, Carolena entered back into the cottage and stripped the leather shoes from her feet. Ma had already begun preparing for bed, combing her hair in the tarnished mirror that hung up in the main room. Her blue eyes watched Carolena closely as the wooden brush passed through a new section. Doing everything she could to avoid Ma's gaze, Carolena gave her a peck on the cheek and disappeared into her bedroom.
There was not much to the room. It was barely big enough to fit the small bed in the corner and the trunk at the footboard as is, much less the clutter that surrounded the furnishings. A window next to the bed looked out over the cliff and into the sea, swallowing the room with the chasm below. When she was little, Carolena used to dream of the cliff swallowing the house and drowning it in the icy depths below.
She still had that dream sometimes.
Carolena flopped down onto the bed, gazing back out of the window and to the stars above. Her mind raced as she tried to quiet her shaking fingers, diving under the covers into the safety of their downed warmth. A tickle on the back of her neck caused a shiver to run down her spine, and the firey power within her seemed to answer.
Soft light lit up the palms of her hands, casting shadows onto the mattress under the sheets. Carolena traced her hands as the light grew larger, marveling at the golden hue and the feeling of calm spreading through her body. She bit her lip and called the magic back into her core. Her power was dangerous. Deadly, even. It was better to keep it locked up inside.
Letting the residual fire die inside of her, Carolena stifled her yawn and let sleep claim her sagging eyelids. She always had tomorrow to feel guilty.
***
The last thing Carolena expected when she opened her eyes was to be in a place she had never seen before. Black marble floors stretched across the room, with matching pillars reaching up to scratch at the scorched ceiling.
Screaming echoed into the room, causing Carolena to flinch. Where was she? The air was much warmer in the room than it was in Ames Port, and the salty scent of the ocean had been replaced with the metallic tang of blood. Taking a step forward, Carolena tiptoed deeper into the room.
Her skin bubbled as she walked further into the black abyss, pausing for a moment as a door slipped into view from behind a pillar. The tickle of her magic brushed against her skin as Carolena reached for the doorknob, hesitating before grasping the brass.
As soon as her fingers touched it, the screaming stopped.
The hair on the back of Carolena's skin stood, spreading ice through her bones. Magic responded to the adrenaline that seeped into her mind, that familiar tickle and swelling of power she never wanted.
She quickly ducked behind a pillar into the shadows, just seconds before footsteps replaced the screaming. Carolena's breath hitched in her throat as they approached, and her heart thundered in her chest. The smell of sage and leather wafted into the air, followed by an immense pressure that suffocated her body. Ma had always described the feeling of magic as a sense of light pressure on the body when a normal person was around power. This sense of magic was beyond anything Carolena had ever experienced.
Every step into the room made the pit in her stomach grow. Her body shrank to the floor silently, praying to the gods that she could leave and wake up back in her bed.
The footsteps stopped right in front of the door she was next to, and it took every ounce of will for Carolena to stay still.
Squeezing her eyes shut, Carolena tried to melt into the pillar behind her. Gods, why were they taking so long?
Did they see her? Did they sense her?
Her fingers trembled as she clutched at her shirt, the cold marble freezing her bones as she waited for the footsteps to leave. Everything was covered in a deafening silence, blanketed in that growing pressure that forced her downwards.
Why did everything feel real?
Because it is real, a deep purr responded from the back of her mind, its claws scraping against her mind as it made a space for itself there. A jolt of lightning raced down Carolena's spine, entrapping her in some invisible grasp.
The footsteps took a tentative step towards the door she had been examining and then kept walking away from her. Perhaps another time. You need to wake up, lirae.
Wake up? Carolena wasn't even sure this was a dream.
Suddenly, the floor gave way beneath her, and Carolena began to tumble downwards towards an inky void that desired to consume every inch of her. Viscous liquid filled her lungs, but she found that she could still breathe, still feel every shooting pain as her body became suffocated by the darkness. She couldn't make a sound. Couldn't move an inch. Carolena wanted nothing more than for the pain to end.
Fire engulfed her body as a silent scream forced its way out of her chest.
***
Carolena's scream bounced off of her bedroom walls as her eyes shot open. Sweat beaded on the palms of her hands as she felt for the blanket, for the wooden windowsill, anything that would tell her she was safely at home and in bed.
The sun had already begun to rise over the sea, streaming crimson and gold hues onto the walls of the bedroom. Carolena closed her eyes to take a deep breath. She was home. It really was a dream.
Ma burst into the room, her golden hair sticking out of its braid as she rushed to Carolena's side. "What? What is it, my sunshine?"
"Nothing," Carolena patted her mother's hand as she sat up. "It was just a bad dream." The words burned on her tongue.
It took a few moments for Ma to guarantee that Carolena was okay before she stumbled back out the door and into the kitchen to make breakfast. Listening to her mother rummage through the kitchen cupboards, Carolena glanced back out the window to the ocean, her fingers trembling.
Was that really a dream?
Carolena shook her head and swung her legs over the side of the bed. It was better to get out of the house and get to the morning market. Her trousers and shirt slipped over her body, and Carolena glanced at the mirror next to the door before she made her way to the main room. Hazel eyes and dirty brown hair that looked nothing like the elegant beauty her mother had.
Throwing her hair into a clip, Carolena passed through the kitchen and kissed Ma on the cheek before running outside. The salty air hit her face as she raced the streaking colors of dawn down the hill. Her heartbeat thundered against her chest, and a small smile curled her lips as her feet pounded down the dirt path toward Ames Port.
Little sways of lavender danced in the morning breeze, filling the air with the smell of sweet herbs and ocean. For a moment, the world felt peaceful. Carolena almost forgot about the dream, about her magic. Swirls of light trailed from her fingertips, shimmering above the flowers as she grew closer to town.
No one was close. No one would notice.
Her palms became warm with the flow of her magic, and the buds of lavender opened as she passed by. This small amount wouldn't drain her energy too much. A small price to pay for making her mother's walk down more pleasant.
Carolena began to slow as she reached the first house, pulling back her power before anyone decided to stick their noses out of their doors. The sleepy town of Ames Port had barely begun its morning routine, with fishermen coming back from the sea with their catch of the day and bakeries popping fresh pastries and tarts into their windows. A few children were rubbing the sleep from her eyes as Carolena passed by, careful to keep her magic in check. One small move, one little push of her magic, and perhaps it wouldn't be the children's imagination of what they had seen.
Shoving her hands into her trousers, Carolena wandered over to dock thirteen with a lazy saunter. Shep had already docked for the morning and begun cleaning his catch, tossing the discarded organs back into the water and allowing the blood to wash off his calloused hands. He didn't bother to look up as she plopped down on the boardwalk next to him and offered to clean the next one.
It was genuinely nice, knowing that Shep would never press for her to talk, but understanding that she needed to be away. He would just let her sit and stew if she worked with him. The serrated knife found its way into her palm, the worn wood barely evading splintering into her flesh as she gripped it and plunged it into the belly of the first fish she grabbed.
They never spoke of how neatly each fish was cleaned, how each bone was always removed, and how the flesh remained immaculate on the fillet. Carolena always thought it was due to how long Shep had been working at sea, and she was sure he thought of her skill as a twin to her knowledge of human anatomy. The fact that Shep never questioned her was a blessing.
Two more fillets landed in the ice, the soft pink centers settling into the nip of ice and biting morning wind. After a while, there were no more fish to clean; there was just silence as they washed their hands of blood.
Most of Shep's catch was sold by midday, which left the pair wandering towards the Thayer bakery. Carolena hardly thought of her dream the night before, only pausing once when she swore she heard that voice coming from down the alley.
Lirae.
That damn purr scratched at her mind again, causing Carolena's skin to bubble up as she hurried along to reach the bakery. Counting her footsteps, the feeling of uneven cobblestones beneath her boots convinced her she was real, and that voice was not. This was the real world.
As she combated the feeling of her chest caving in as she entered the buttery, warm threshold of the Thayer's residence, Carolena almost missed the flash of royal purple robes entering the path a few houses down.
