It has been almost two months since the University Day, and I still can’t get over that moment I had with Ms. Rianne at the park. I barely have seen her around unlike the usual days now. It’s been like that for weeks that she just pops-away after dismissal

Sometimes, when we crossed paths on the school grounds, she would still smile at me from a distance when our eyes meet and always hold little conversations when we encountered each other on the hallways or on the way home. 

But why does it feel like it's not enough… 

I was even thinking of helping her out on her stuff but I never saw her asking someone to aid her on her paperwork or things. She always managed to carry everything pretty well. The only time I can see her for long is in our class in Arts and Literature—so thankful it exists. Aside from how she handles her lessons, she also invariably wears stunning outfits, and is always so clean. 

I keep wondering if she has someone, a relationship with romantically. If there isn’t –hopefully none—What kind of person is her type? The things she hates or the thing she likes? For the past few days, I can’t stop myself from finding Ms. Rianne around, but I'm guessing she has some endeavors that she needs to finish that’s why she can't stay for too long. 

It was on the second week of November, at 7:00 in the morning, that I saw her early at University Park sitting and reading a book when I was on my way there. I was surprised about that. Honestly, I’m not used to people coming here too. I like to solo the tranquility this park gives. Oddly, I felt relieved that she had developed the likes to come around. I wanted to join her but I feel shy doing so. Instead, I left her alone and went to the library. 

I’ll give it a try next time, let her enjoy the serene view alone.

On the next day, I thought Ms. Rianne would be there, but she wasn’t. I kind of expected her to come again after seeing her yesterday.

Now I am feeling glum

Our last class for today just ended quickly as Professor Sebastian had a board meeting for the upcoming events in school—he is our Council Adviser. Since Natasha is the school president, she will be needing to join the session as well.

I decided to have a drink in a nearby coffee shop to wait for her. I ordered caramel macchiato with sweet and sour French fries. I then fetch my book to read. Minutes after reading a couple pages, that voice that can send chills on my spine spoke in front of me. 

“Do you mind me being seated here?” she asked, smiling at me. I looked at her and my jaw dropped for seconds before getting my sense back to respond.

“Uhm, Hello Ms. Rianne, yeah of course, please settle down” I said, stuttering for a bit.

My god, my heart is racing so fast. 

“You had an early dismissal?” she asked while placing her drink on the table carefully, her phone and book on top of each other.          

I nodded while sipping my drink and responded. “We did, it was so sudden actually, Professor Sebastian just cut the class thirty minutes before it ends.”

“Right, what seems to be the urgence?” Miss Rianne asked with curiosity.

“He just mentioned a board meeting, including the President of the Supreme University Council. He said it’s for the upcoming events that will happen in the next months.” I said trying to look calm explaining to her the details. I needed to be concise and make it easier to tell because she was so attentive while I was speaking. 

There her eyes go again, staring at me so sharply

“I see” she replied back and grab her coffee. While sipping our drinks, I felt the urge to tell her that I saw her in the school park– and I did. “I actually saw you the other day in the school park reading a book, I-” she cut me off before I can finish my sentence

“Why didn't you stop by and approach me then?” she asked, putting her coffee down and then looked at me, sounding assertive again. 

“I-I thought you would want to spend time alone and want some space for yourself. So, I didn’t bother you and thought to do it next time, if I see you there again…” I said, a little tensed, while explaining. 

She sounds scary sometimes, but still appeals so strongly to me

“Ah right. You should approach me next time. I don’t see you as a nuisance either. Actually, I am a little comfortable with you.” she said while looking directly into my eyes, her expression is cold but assuring. 

I felt my cheeks turn red when she said those to me, leaving my mouth a little open to catch an air and quaffed. My hands felt cold, and the feeling of being elevated by her sentences consumed my mind at that time.

“Oh, I- don’t really know what to say, but I am glad by the fact that I give you comfortability.” I smiled nervously at her.

I am so going to melt over this woman…

“So, uhm… did you find the place great?” I asked her what she thought about the park. She said she loved how peaceful the park was in the morning. The breeze is cold and soothing, trees dancing freely from the undiluted wind and she also like the fact that students seldomly go there. 

I feel like she is describing herself the way I perceive her, cold and soothing

I was totally into our conversation that I jolted a little my shoulder when my phone buzzed. It was Natasha’s message, telling me that they have finished their meeting already. I replied I was in the coffee shop near the school and told her the car is parked in here as well. 

“Everything alright?” Miss Rianne, asked me while still holding her book.

“Yeah, it’s just Natasha. She- uhm their meeting already ended, and we need to…go home. “I told her, hesitantly.

Originally, you are here because you were waiting for Natasha, why the hell are you guilty of breaking your time together!

“Oh. It’s alright, shall we go outside? I think I need to go home as well.” she said as she fixed the cloth below the coffee cup since it was a bit on sideways.

“Okay” I said with a smile and stood up, putting the chair back under the table and cleaned some excess dirt, using the tissue and walked behind her. She opened the door, moving aside so I could walk out first and it made me blush again. 

I really feel like I don’t deserve her kind gestures.

“Thank you and it’s nice to hold more time with you here Miss.” I told her softly. My body gave me hot flushes after I realized what I just said. We took a few steps to where our cars were parked and Miss Rianne told me she would go first.

“Let’s spend more then, in other days. I’ll go ahead, see you around Hestia. Don’t forget what I said.” she said seriously but sounding so gentle. I inhaled so sharply after hearing those words from her.

“I, I would love that as well Miss. Please take care on your way and rest when you arrive at your home” I said giving her a big smile and waving my hand as she pulled her car on the road.  

“I see you’ve been pretty close with Ms. Harrington?” Natasha spoked behind me, leveling her head on my shoulders with a teasing look. 

“Hey, when did you arrive? And not exactly, she just happened to be on the same coffee shop while I was waiting for you” I said defensively, knitting my eyebrows and trying not to smile

“So defensive, Herdondaile. I know this side. I can totally tell when you are--” I cut her off by putting my arms on her neck dragging her head down jokingly. “It’s nothing, let’s go Evansville, you’re being obnoxious.” I said while laughing. 

“Hah! So, I am the one being obnoxious now, when I literally saw your eyes sparkling while you were with Miss Harington!” she stated, mocking and laughing at me.

 “I wasn’t! How could you possibly see when you are behind us” I said crouching my eyebrows while trying not to smile at her before we went inside my car. 

After twenty-minutes of driving, and while singing to our favorite Taylor Swift songs, I pulled outside their house and bid farewell to her.

“Goodnight, Tash. You rest well.” I said, giving her a really big smile and hug. 

“Goodnight, Hessie. Thank you for the ride” She opened the door of my car and made her way out. “It’s actually great seeing you this way, getting sunshine again. I will support you with your feeling for Ms---” before she could even finish, I reached for her through the window of the door and flicked moderately her forehead “Go and rest, lady” I told her with a big smile and I drove home.

23:45

Pulling my shorts for sleep on, I removed my shirt leaving my upper body naked. I actually have this habit starting my teenage years, I just couldn’t sleep with shirt on. Walking past my mirror, I look at my reflection and remembered that dream I had with Ms. Rianne on bed.

Such a dream

I have never put much thought of trying to get closer to her. Seeing her and abrupt interactions with her on daily basis at school was then enough to me, before. Lately, I find myself get downhearted when those are the only synergy, I get.

So pathetic.

I lie down my bed, pulling one pillow and lowering the brightness of my phone. I opened my Instagram and tried to search her name, expecting to find her account so maybe I can finally try to get closer through talking with her more, even if it’s on phone. I tried searching her name, in all sorts of way but failed.

Now I feel sadder.

I put my phone away, and turned on my lamp. I closed my eyes, forcing myself to sleep, with a hope that when I wake up in everyday, I get more chances to get adjacent with her.