I

n the dark she pondered with her eyes wide open where he was and why he wasn’t by her side. Leaving the bedroom, she found him at the dining table, lying face down on his forearm. His journal was splayed open beside him, it was difficult not to pry but some of his illustrations had captured her eye. A man's silhouette surrounded by many tombstones in a familiar looking cemetery. Strangest of all a mausoleum, floated before the man, written below in a corner. "You know why you did it, but you refuse to believe it "

Emma closed his book then shook him awake. Adonis lifted his head along with his body from the table. his eyes looked heavy, staring at the floor.

"Are you alright?" She asked.

Adonis maintained his blank stare downwards, while Emma stood waiting for a response. 

"Go get dressed. I'll be right behind you" he said dragging his journal off the table.

She kissed him, and her socks stepped away from him walking back to the bedroom. he took a second to take in the morning and how he felt. Yawning, his body his eyes heavy he pushed himself away from the table with his journal under his arm and took his medication.

Mosh peak High School, through the herd of students they pushed. Emma was doing well keeping her head up, but it was inevitable for someone’s bag to brush her. Jolting in place her eyes fell lower while Adonis encouraged her to class.

Inside the classroom she stood in the corner to slow her breath and heart rate, while Adonis picked a seat across the classroom. 

The teacher, Mr. Langhorne called Adonis up to his desk while the students found their seats.

“You made it today “

Adonis nodded and took the handout from him for today’s lesson.

“Not a lot of Boys your age are as ambitious as you are, I admire that”

"I didn't sleep well last night, part of me wishes I stayed home “

"Still, even better impulse control "

When the full room quieted down, everyone had begun working on their assignments.

Adonis began confident as usual but as the time progressed and the answers proved to not be within his skill he became annoyed. The week prior he learned everything he needed to know he even had the notes that should have come clean with the solutions, but he must've forgotten to write something down.

something was missing but he couldn’t tell what. It drove him insane for the next 30 minutes until he was death gripping his pencil under the desk. Too Embarrassed to raise his hand he kept trying. Nothing worked, just as he was about to raise his hand the bell for next period had rung. Snapping the pencil with his thumb he got up to shake off his frustration and gather his items to leave the classroom. Handing in his paperwork, the stain of pencil lead outlined his struggle and frustration. The teacher looked up at him, taking off his glasses.

"If you want to stop struggling like this then we can meet on

Thursday for a couple hours, can we agree on that?"

Adonis stared at the table with the same look of frustration on his face but acknowledged his teacher, agreeing to come in that day.

After second period and lunch, they were guided by the intercom to the school’s indoor gymnasium. Adonis and Emma pushed forward trying to get inside the arena-like environment. Decorated in Mosh peak red and orange banners. The fake drums and trumpets on the speaker, played some of last year's band student's performances. Claiming a seat at the very top of the bleachers, keeping Emma away from large groups so that way she could at least enjoy the rally. The school's mascot, a horse. The guy in the costume ran around the basketball court trying to excite everyone in the room wearing a red jersey. Coaches were lined up behind a long white table in the middle of the court. One for each curricular activity they were sponsoring.

"Good afternoon and welcome, we would like to present the opportunities to connect, be proactive, and experience. The best curricular programs that New Jersey has to offer"

The uproar came from the males, more than likely they were here for football. 

"I can tell that all of us are excited but before you can come down to choose your electives, let me tell you a bit about myself and the excellent staff we have running these programs."

The vice principal paused to take a sip of water and continued introducing herself. Following, she pointed out and handed the microphone to other staff members behind the table:

Football coach, band teacher, wood shop, soccer, drama, and more. 

After watching more than half of the school get up and go sign for their classes Emma made her way down. She didn’t tell him what she was going to do but he watched her, intrigued to know what she would pick. 

He wasn’t surprised to see her come back with a saw blade toy, meaning she had chosen wood shop. Adonis pushed on the rubber blade to make it spin, and they talked to kill some time before heading back to their last few classes.

Adonis Coached her through the hallway at the end of the day so they could make it to the bus ramp. Fixated on their seat at the back of the bus only to find that someone had either placed or left a small gym bag in their way.

 Adonis removed the bag for her to slide to the window seat, he wasn’t sure what it was filled with but it was light. 

“My bag was there for a reason not for your traumatized girlfriend to take its place “

Adonis looked over his shoulder at a boy no older or bigger than he was. Adonis dropped the bag in the walking aisle close to them and sat down.

The boy looked down at his bag and then at Adonis who paid no attention. Adonis could hear the other boys around instigating him to do something else.

The gym bag was thrown smacking Emma in the face. Adonis shot from his seat and charged at the boy, grabbed him by his jacket, and shoved him down the aisle until he fell flat on his back. Heaving with rage he stood a few feet from him and decided against doing anything more. Instead, he watched his opponent get picked up off the floor by the driver and escorted off the bus. Lucky for him he thought, and he sat down at his seat again waiting for the bus driver to return, and when he did he pointed at Adonis, beckoning him closer.

Adonis stood from his seat and calmly approached the driver.

“Do I need to take you off this bus, or can you be honest with me?”

“Hoger was just showing off” 

An unexpected defendant had dropped the duffel bag behind Adonis, and she concluded the case with a statement.

“Adonis was just minding his business and for some reason,

Hoger thought he could get away with hitting his girlfriend “

The bus driver picked up the bag unzipped it and pulled out a weird figurine made of duct tape and poorly glued strands of a doll's black hair with silver nails driven into the eyes of the faceless doll. As poorly as it had been constructed Adonis thought it was supposed to be a resemblance of him. Then the driver pulled out a handheld Bible that had pen markings and obscene drawings on its pages, picking one that caught his eye he showed it to Adonis, and at the top of a page he had written.

“Adonis is a school shooter that won’t go to heaven”

“Go sit down, “the driver said stuffing the things back in the bag and heading back off the bus one more time with the bag.

Adonis called out for the driver at the top stair 

“When you show the principal can you bring me that back” Adonis said smiling through his teeth.

“Why?”

“Halloween decorations aren’t cheap, and where the hell else am I going to get a Hoger classic?”

The driver smiled and walked back to the school. Adonis went back to check on Emma who smiled seeing him again.

“You won’t believe the shit that was that bag”

He sat down and laughed, thinking about the doll specifically.

“I know Mr. Dunson he’s gonna fry Hoger and then he’s gonna walk back out of that building with the duffle bag still in his hand.”

Emma smiled.

 “But why?”

“Because I have a secret admirer who creates Ken dolls out of my image “

Emma looked back out the window eagerly waiting for the bus driver so they could head back on the road already.

Adonis had one knee on the seat and his elbow on top of the backrest of the bulky leather chair in front of them staring patiently out the window to the school front.

One of the glass doors opened and Mr Dunson walked back out to the bus with the duffel bag in hand. A great smile crossed his lip, and he quickly made his way back to the front of the bus where Mr Dunson exchanged the bag with him.

“Be responsible, don’t make me look like a fool “

Adonis took the bag back to his seat, wasting no time the bus doors closed, and they were back on their way.

On the ride back she had fallen asleep against the window. The world around him was at peace he was at peace, but something else in him could not tolerate what had happened.

images of a bludgeoned and even mutilated enemy, images

where he had lost control and implemented more than a shove, he buried his fists into Hoger's chest and booted his nose in.

“This is how they will learn”

Adonis closed his eyes and buried his face inside his cold palms while the stream of horror continued to play swiftly. In his mind he kept stomping on the unconscious offender's face, his teeth had been kicked free and his mangled features hissing blood.

“This is what they will remember…”

Adonis kept his thoughts to himself on the walk inside the house. Tossing his things aside and taking nothing but his boxing gloves. Striking the heavy bag, he always started with lighter shots to the body just to get his hips and arms warmed up to the movement. 

" There is no sin like letting an enemy live to harm you again..."

He was certain to his core that the anger he felt was not his own but it had to be released because he felt it increasing boiling to a dangerously implosive point.

"That's right, you're a lion that refuses to eat its prey...

they will turn on you and force you to fight...until they understand their place amongst us.

Every inch of power and speed he had was going into the bag, every drop of anger he could have blessed off upon that boy, throwing his elbows throwing his kicks throwing his fists, his skill showing in his fluidity and grace and his terrifying power. until Adonis collapsed on one knee. heaving and gasping for air while beads of sweat fell from his brow, he sat there for a minute on a knee.

“Such potential you withhold, no longer…”

Leaving the basement, she walked towards him from the bedroom with a towel and fresh clothes.

"I want to show you something "

Adonis took the stack of clothes from her arms and stood there waiting… 

"I mean after you clean up, would you mind taking me to my alter?"

"I can, are you alright?"

"I am but I don’t think you are “

"I was just training you know that’s what I do. "

"I’m not talking about that, there’s something else you’re not telling me, your journal..."

Adonis put his stuff on the bathroom counter and came back to the conversation with aggression in his posture.

"you're not supposed to be looking in there "

"it was open, I ..." Taking a step back from him, she deflated.

Too nervous to look at him in the eyes.

Adonis looked over his shoulder to his school bag on the floor, where it was secured, then back at her.

"I just want to know what you're thinking" she mumbled

Adonis took a knee and held out his arms, to reel her back

in.

“And you will “

Emma took a breath and surrendered herself stepping forward and easing herself into his arms with his shoulders.

“As soon as I’m done, we will go,” he said running his hand along her back.

On the road, the world was already darkening to a falling sun. distorted, his sight seemed to increase, and he could see for miles more than he usually could and increased his speed. Frightened, she hung on as the speed only increased. The liquid trees swayed and then bent forward to his speed.

Reaching the Gate of Tempest Grove, they snuck their usual way inside to the house above. 

Adonis sat in the recliner under the hole in the roof with Emma in his lap.

"I get your stressed but it's not the usual stress I've seen before"

Adonis placed his palm on her thigh and felt her skin through the holes in her denim. 

"There's so many things happening at once, you know that" 

Marie shifted herself sideways laying her legs across his so she could look at him.

"I understand that but, there's a density around you that I can't explain "

Adonis hesitated to reply and glanced over at her alter

"Besides talking what else did you have in mind?"

"Well, I don't know anymore, it might make you uncomfortable "

" I'm not going to insult you if you tell me about it"

Marie turned herself back around to sit on his knee and pulled out a book from her bag.

"There is a ritual I'm capable of that would give us answers we aren't yet aware of."

Adonis encouraged her to keep going, she opened the book and read from it directly, it was her grimoire.

"Blood is the liquid mirror of the unseen, Nyxori have learned the skill of deciphering its viscosity, smell and flow. “

“Like palm reading”.

" I would say that’s the easiest way to understand it but it doesn’t exactly work that way, from what little I understand, memories and beliefs get bleached to our blood”

She continued “I think the skill only goes as far as them seeing our past and present experiences, but there could be a chance they see fractions ahead in our timeline” 

“So, you’re saying that they can see what we’ve gone through “

“That’s exactly what I’m saying “

“And … there might be a chance they can see the future and that’s what you’re hoping we will find?”

“I want them to study your timeline and give you guidance…”

Adonis sat there in his thoughts for a second processing the information, skimming through his journal. Emma waited patiently in-between his legs for him to say something back.

" here "

Adonis handed her his journal, glancing at it she turned her entire body around to receive it.

"It's been almost two years, why now?"

"I have an issue, and I don't know where to start"

Marie looked at the medium-sized journal, black, worn, with visible water damage wrinkling the pages.

"Mark where you think I should start then "

Adonis stuck his thumb in between some pages exchanging it with her. 

 Monday( morning) September 11, 2018

Before I close my eyes I wanted to document an experience.

It's been calling to me for the past few days, The dreams they've all led up to this night. There are still things unanswered but I'm sure now that they will come in time.

From the sky, It came down, straight to the earth in a beam of light. The mausoleum was a facade for something else. My blood seemed to open the way and through my blood, It entered my body. I no longer hear it outside but now its voice fills my head like a thousand voices. , it likes to talk to it’self…

 I’ve sat here for hours trying to decipher it and the only phrases I can make out are these.

“Human wars gave me Life…” 

“Blessed Sevoria…thy will be done…”

“Doubt is dead, the boy no longer only believes what he sees… What he hears… “

Marie flipped through the pictures he had drawn and finally closed it. 

"It was just a regular night when it happened, there were warnings, but I ignored them "

Adonis said, staring into a shadowy corner.

“After I dealt with Hoger I was proud about how I laughed at the stuff we found in the bag, I was proud that the justice we received today was enough. That I didn’t have to go any further like in the past. I was satisfied, but something in me was not. “

“An older part of you?”

He turned his head meeting her eyes.

“No”

The Candles remained burning, the darkened house asleep.The natural smell of the wax melting was what he kept coming back to when he would leave a thought. 

" let's try it"

Emma sat up, surprised. 

"Are you sure? "

Adonis extended his arm out, that was the permission she needed to dig in her bag for the dagger, handing it to him. "It's sterile "

Adonis unsheathed it while she opened her book back up.

"As your daughter and you being my only father on earth. in this relationship it's more than give and take, as a team as a family, I will be here when you need me the most. Father, your guidance is truly needed. Take your fill "

Adonis cut the top of his forearm until it began to bleed. Marie caught it in a silver chalice. The cup was filled less than half before he began to wrap up his bleeding arm. Taking the chalice, she raised it to the toad's bowl and poured it. 

His blood was a thick, dark red that flowed into the toad bowl until the chalice was empty. 

His blood sat there, a pool in the toad’s hands, the candle flames reflected off the crimson offering. They waited, Adonis however not so sure what they were waiting for.

"There's nowhere that can go”

Adonis said watching it for a little while longer, but then the flames began to shiver, and the blood was ingested through the solid belly of the frog. Adonis stood up from the recliner, a shiver rode up his shin and spine fixed on what was happening. Emma sat on the floor knowing this was his time and watched him approach the altar.

Whispers began to emanate from the stone, Adonis leaned down to put his ear to the stone frog's lips. Its voice, more beast but it spoke English like a man.

" You chose each other, inseparable in destiny and form.”

Adonis could hear something rising in tonality echoing from the lips of the statue Whispers of the human and not so human voices. A Jurassic-sized horned beetle resided in a cave of bioluminescent light, a cold hall of stalagmites and glowing life living to the harmony of its great stridulation. 

“rage and confusion swath over, a cancer that kills, a cancer that grows … a disease that fills thou hearts with murk …”

The doors to the mausoleum, left open in this premonition. A stone coffin sat vertically and center to the altar behind it. Like Emma’s, the red banner and intersecting nails candle lit. 

“Astruhm null… “

“Astruhm…”

A thunderous blast under the earth, under the coffin …

“a war of faith and self … resides…in you. In him … “

Another blast, rattled the mausoleum knocking over a few candles, setting flame to the red banner.

“Align again…”

The coffin lid shifted and grinded against itself, opening.

“Towards forgiveness …”

The room was quiet and poorly lit. It had grown twice as dark from when they started the ritual. Looking away from the altar, Emma had lit a candle of her own writing by its light. 

“It’s done”

Looking up from her book she closed it and stuck it inside her bag. 

“What did he say?” She asked

Adonis paced to the back of the room towards the unlit kitchen in the back.

“I’m not sure, I mean I don’t understand what he meant”

Emma turned her body towards him looking over the headrest of the recliner.

“What are you thinking? “

Adonis walked back towards the altar; the flames of the altar soothed his eyes casting soft shadows around the space. He twisted a silver ring on his hand back and forth while he spoke.

“I’m feeling…”

Emma stood from the recliner and walked over, stopping behind him.

“What are you feeling Donni?”

Adonis held his head high to the height where the blood red banner was nailed to the wall, tattered and frayed.

“I feel like there’s a lot of work to be done, not just to get where we need to be but…but to fix…”

Exhaling, Adonis didn’t realize how much he was sweating until he had both of his hands in his long mane-like hair and felt how damp his scalp was.

“it's terrifying how it reminds me of myself “

Adonis glanced back at her and she came to his side.

“Why do you say that?”

“The anger.. I keep getting told its why it found me in the first place and why we are both on this path. It’s a road, where we might be left sifting through results until we find one that leaves us in a state or a place…where we can agree.”

She took a moment to stick a finger in the toad's bowl, she wasn’t surprised to find it dry. relighting some of the fainter candles Emma answered him.

“don’t expect to adapt to each other for a long time but after that…”

She looked up at him and placed her hand on his chest.

“that’s when you can expect to communicate and flourish as a team…”

Emma followed him back to the recliner and sat horizontally in his lap with an arm around his neck. Pulling her close to his body they sat with each other for a long while, listening to the bugs outside the house. The candles were starting to go out and the only true light they could see were the many stars above them framed to the penumbra of an uncertain void. to him her cold skin exalted his comfort, and its majestic pallor reminded him of the coming snow. To have her lips touch his in this dark unconquerable moment was all he wanted for the rest of his days. Kissing under the silent blaze that cradled their hearts, holding each other during the cosmic and earthly wars that might be raging in a place abandoned a devotion to never leave one another abandoned again.